The Possiblity of Loving Two People
by LawNorderjunkie862
Summary: This is Eames' reflection on the episode Amends. A collaboration piece with immyownsuperman  : Always B/A!


Alex POV:

The long week had turned the minutes to seem into hours. I had finally caught the man who had killed my husband; even though for so long I had thought it was someone else. Slowly the highlights of that week flash past my eyes,

_I get a call from Captain Ross, his tone rushed, that there was an injured cop. He tells me to get to Mercy as quickly as I can. Throwing my hair into a bun, I rush out car keys in hand. While in the car, I flip open my phone, and dial a number so familiar to me, Bobby. He still has two weeks of personal leave left, and I feel guilty for taking him from his rest. But if the news reached him before I told him, he would feel upset that I hadn't trusted him enough to call. I arrive at the hospital, and catch up to the captain right before they roll the stretcher behind the curtain._

_"What the hell happened?" I ask Captain anxiously._

_Ross sighed, "Detective Quinn sat in the drivers seat of an unmarked car. Took two bullets to the head."_

_"Quinn, Kevin Quinn?"I ask, wishing so much that he just says no. It can't be him, not Quinn._

_"You know him?" Captain asks, confirming that the man over there was indeed Quinn._

_"He was my husbands partner," I pause, take a deep breath and then resume my thought. "the night Joe was murdered." The only thing that runs through my head was about Kevin's wife, Theresa, what would she do if Kevin died? God knows it killed me when Joe died. I almost offered up a silent prayer in hopes that it would keep Kevin breathing, for Theresa. But I made it through, Theresa Quinn can too._

_A few minutes later, a doctor comes out from behind the curtain, clattering a few things along the way. I cringe a little at the noise, reaching a hand up to rub at my head. I try to reassure myself that I will be okay. I've been out of the basement for a year. The doctor shakes his head, and I breathe out a breath I didn't realize that I was holding. Clenching my fists at what this meant. That simple shake of the head can only mean one thing. Kevin didn't make it._

_I ask Ross about their detail, struggling to pay attention at the right places. My mind is with Theresa. Before Joe died, Theresa had been my friend, someone I could go to when push came to shove. But that was before most my friends drifted from my life, living me in shambles after Joe._

_Bobby smashes through rather ungracefully, pulling me from my train of thought all together. Ross speaks first, "Goren, you still have two weeks of leave left." He says it at Bobby but connects eyes with me._

_"Doesn't matter, who's the cop?" Bobby seemed to be out of breath, and I resisted the urge to place a hand on his arm, reassuring him that I was there._

_"Murdered." I supply._

_The doctor returns moments later, asking me to come and confirm the body. I could only look for a few minutes at the pale white body of a man I used to know, a man Joe used to be friends with. I return to_ _stand next to Bobby, not quite listening to the conversation around me, until someone floats by. __Theresa. I wave my hand in an effort to get her attention. She connects eyes with me but continues on her way. Looking but not seeing. I had been that way one time, and I knew she want to be left to her thoughts. Left to grieve on her own._

I realize that I'm sitting on my couch, crying harder than I have for a really long time. My thoughts fluttering back to Joe, and how much my heart still longed for him. Could I ever love someone as much as I loved him? Bobby, that was what my mind supplied me. But I couldn't love Bobby like that, not after all we had been through. Could I love him? I start to think about all the great times I've had with Joe.

"_Alexandra Eames, we met in the acadamy, and I will admit, I thought you were really hot. But I never knew that I would love you as much as I do. God Alex, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. Would you please give me the honor and be my wife?" Joe asks with a velvet box in his hands, down on one knee in the middle of a crowded restaurant._

_"Say yes!" A voice somewhere behind me shouts._

_"Yes! Yes of course I'll marry you Joe!" I say so loud I'm almost screaming. He pulls me into a kiss that can only be described as between people who love each other._

I love Joe, but he's gone. I now begin to think about all the times that Bobby's been with me, now that Joe can't. I now that I can't take life for granted, and I know I have to tell Bobby that I love him. I call him.

"Bobby, I love you."


End file.
